can I scream?

Photocredits to: blieke !
 

When you read this, you should be listening to: ‘To the end – My Chemical Romance’

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Isa started rubbing Sam’s back. He took a deep breath and started telling his story.

“Years ago, when we moved in this city, my dad told us, my family, we would live in a violent neighborhood. He said we had to protect us from those people. So he bought a gun. We kept it safe in a place, where only our family knew where it was.”

“Apparently, somebody out of our family knew where that gun was to.”

There was an awkward silence. Everybody was staring at Sam. He took Isa’s hand and finally found the courage to end his confession.

“Not so long ago, I noticed the gun was gone... And now it’s still missing.”

Alexandre stared at his best mate. He felt a cold pit in his stomach.

“And that person is...?”

Sam looked up and gazed into Alexandre’s eyes.

“You know that a year ago, I dated Julie...”

They heard a glass breaking. Apparently Lillian dropped her glass with coke.

“You told her where you kept the gun?” Alexandre said, not believing what his best mate was trying to tell him.

“No! No... Somebody was sneaking on our backyard. So I took the gun and scared that thief away. But at the moment, Julie was with me... She must have seen where we hide the gun...”

Alexandre went over to Lillian and hugged her.

“I swear Alex... I didn’t want to... I didn’t know... You’ve got to believe me! I didn’t want this to happen. I didn’t know she saw it. I would never...”

“It’s okay Sam... You didn’t know what she would do.”

Sam sighed.

“I’m so sorry...” he barely said.

“You shouldn’t be... It’s not your fault.” Lillian suddenly said.

She had found her voice back. She didn’t blame Sam for what happened.

Days went by and the two couples hung around together almost every day. One day:

“Hey guys. I’m kinda sick of this mall. Can’t we go hang around somewhere else?”

“Hm. The park then?”

“Ahm. Even the birds know us there! We’ve been hanging around in those places a lot lately…”

“Okay. You with your brilliant ideas, tell us then where you want to go then!”

“Guys… Guys! Don’t start to fight or something… My parents have a beach house … Maybe we can go for a week or something to there?”

“Brilliant idea! See, you have to be a woman to actually have to come up with great plans”

“Pff”

“Women power!”

Isa and Lillian laughed. They enjoyed looking at the boys their faces. So everything went by quickly and they made a lot of plans. The two couples were making their suitcases for a week at the beach.

Alexandre was at the mall. Lillian gave him a list of what they still needed. She was almost done packing. She took some clothes and finally, after two hours, she was done. Lillian went downstairs to get her a coke. Suddenly she felt someone pushing her. She fell down the stairs and lay at the end of it. Her stomach hurt so bad...

“Haven’t I told you, you can never mess with me?”

“Julie...!” Lillian whispered with a voice full of pain.

“I’m back... And I see that Alexandre still is with you! Haven’t I asked you something?”

Lillian turned around and stared into Julie’s eyes. They looked insane and full of anger.

“I consider that as a yes?”

Lillian widened her eyes as soon Julie pointed the gun at her –again. She seemed to enjoy how much fear that gun caused to her victim. Lillian got up quickly and ran inside the living room. She tried to block the door, but Julie entered the room via the kitchen. She stopped trying to block the door and it opened again, desperately finding her way out, but Julie draw Lillian’s attention to her.

“So where are we going, Miss Adelie?”

“Please, Julie... Let’s talk!” Lillian stuttered.

Julie laughed and Lillian got goose bumps, because that laugh was not normal.

“I saw you packed your suitcases... Where are we going, Lillian?”

Lillian didn’t dare to answer.

“Let me guess...” She faked a concentrated face.

“I think... Heaven?” She pointed the gun to the ceiling. “Or maybe hell?” She pointed the gun at the floor.

“I’d love to stay here...” Lillian said with a cracky voice.

Julie laughed again.

“It’s time to say goodbye, Lillian! Just take one last look at this place...”

Lillian opened her mouth, she wanted to scream, but it felt like someone grabbed her by her throat and was choking her. Julie put a finger on the trigger and just before she pulled it, Lillian thought she heard someone calling her name. The next seconds Lillian can’t quite remember what happened... But when she opened her eyes, she saw Alexandre lying on the floor! He blocked the shot and took a bullet for her!

“Oh God no! Alex!”

Lillian fell down on her knees and took him into her arms. He barely whispered “I love you” before he passed out.

“NO! Alex... No wake up! Please hun .. Don’t leave me now... I love you to! Come on Alex! Open your eyes....”

Lillian felt a hatred to Julie deep inside... She had killed him. The only guy she loved the most. She looked at Alexandre and saw she shot him in the place where his heart was. The heart that loved her. The heart that she wanted to keep close in hers. The heart that changed her life. And she killed him! Lillian turned around, she had never felt such a hate towards a person, and she knew she would kill Julie...

Julie stood there, with her eyes glued onto Alexandre’s body. She never wanted to kill him! She loved him more then her own life!

Lillian her hands were covered with Alexandre’s blood. She ran towards Julie, and tried to grip her throat. She was going to choke her! Julie panicked. She didn’t know what to do. Lillian grabbed the pistol. The two girls struggled and fought for the gun. Suddenly they heard a big bang. The gun went off for a second time. Lillian fell down on the floor. The second bullet went into her body, just above her hips. The pain was worse then anybody could imagine. She touched the place and felt how blood was coming out, where the bullet went in. She crawled towards Alexandre and kissed him on his lips.

‘Why do they feel so cold?’

She got her cell phone out of her pocket, with difficulty, and dialed 911. She painfully whispered:

“Help... us... been... shot” before passing out.

*Hours later*

Lillian opened her eyes.

‘Wait... White walls - not my clothes – noises – I’m in the hospital! Oh God.. Alex!’

She tried to get up, but a pain situated a bit lower then her stomach was killing her.

“Shht...”

She felt somebody laying his or her hand on her head.

“It’s going to be okay... Just be calm and lay down!”

“Isa?”

“Yes.”

“What... How...”

“They traced your phone call...”

“Where is Alex?”

“ Still in the OK. They have problems with finding the bullet.”

“Oh God... And Julie? Did they caught that bitch?”

“I’m afraid she ran away as soon as she shot you...”

A few hours went by. Isa was gone, back to her home. Lillian was all alone in her room. She tried to get up, and after 10 minutes and a lot of pain, she finally succeeded. She walked and with every step she took, it felt like Julie shot her again.

‘Come on Lillian... Hold on! You have to see him. Alex...’

When she finally entered his room, she was shocked that here were so much machines around him.

“Alex? Hun it’s me...”

Alexandre didn’t open his eyes. He didn’t move at all.

“Alex... Please, say something! Open your eyes!”

A tear rolled down Lillian’s cheek because it looked like she was talking to Alexandre’s corpse. She took his hand and gave a kiss on it.

“Please open your eyes... For me?” Lillian begged.

It was like a miracle... Alexandre opened his eyes as soon as she ended her sentence. He couldn’t say anything, because there was a tube down his throat. When he saw Lillian, he started crying to. Lillian felt uncomfortable. There was a weird, tragic atmosphere in this room. She had the feeling something was wrong, besides that Alexandre was connected to all those machines. He pulled his hand away from Lillian’s and formed with his other hand a heart. Then he pointed at Lillian.

“I love you to...” Lillian whispered, while tears still were rolling down her cheeks.

‘He can’t do this... Not now! We still have so much things to do... He can’t ...’

Alexandre started to cry hysterical and he widened his eyes. He tried to scream, but with the tube down his throat he felt more pain. He grabbed Lillian’s hand and squeezed in it. With eyes full of pain and tears he looked at her.

“NO! Fight back! Don’t you take goodbye from me! Not now Alex!! NOT NOW!” Lillian screamed.

“I-ian...”

Alexandre tried to say her name... His throat hurt due to that tube...

He touched her face with his one hand and hold her hand with his others. He whiped some tears.

“No... I can’t live without you! Don’t you tell me not to cry about you... I don’t want to go to your funeral ... Alex... Please...!”

He looked into her eyes. She saw they were full of sorrow and that they were desperate. He brought his hand to his heart and pointed again at her. His other hand was still touching her face.

Suddenly his hand fell down, his eyes closed and a machine behind his started making weird noises. Lillian started screaming.

Two doctors ran into his room. Lillian backed away from Alexandre’s bed and collapsed in a corner of his room. A nurse walked to wards her and picked her up.

Lillian was lying in her hospital bed.

‘Why...?’

She knew this was Alexandre’s end. He said goodbye to her. Deep inside she was torn apart. She didn’t know how she could go on without his gentle voice, his touches, his sparkling eyes telling her everything would be okay...

‘But this time nothing will be okay... He isn’t here anymore...’

Lillian couldn’t believe it. She didn’t want to believe it.

‘But I can’t be in a denial... I saw him die.. He died by my hand...’

She laid her hand on her face. The place where Alexandre touched her for the last time.

‘There was still so much I wanted to tell him. I can’t kiss him anymore... I even couldn’t kiss him goodbye... Oh Alex. Why did you leave this soon. Why did we have to say goodbye? Why… ?’

Her pillow was wet from her tears. Suddenly a doctor entered the room.

“Are you here to tell me he’s dead? I know that already...”

“Uh... No, I’m here for you.”

Lillian turned around and looked at him, confused, but still crying.

“I’m here to tell you the bullet went straight through your womb.”

“So?”

“I’m sorry, Miss Adelie, but you lost your baby. That’s why you’re still bleeding vaginal.”

It felt like somebody slapped Lillian in the face.

“But... I wasn’t... I can’t be...”

“You were pregnant.”

“But I took the birthcontrolpill...”

“Did you take it constantly?”

“Yes.”

“And you didn’t menstruate in months?”

“No.”

“That would explain a lot.”

Lillian turned her back to the doctor.

‘I was pregnant... I carried Alexandre’s baby...’

She cried like she never did before. She curled up in a ball, with her hands on her belly.

That day there didn’t die two human beings, but two people and one soul.